a woman after God's heart

Tonight I feel nostalgic. Probably because I have been meeting old friends for the past two days and looked at old photos. Life took a different turning, and many have changed. I just know that I wasn't the same person I used to be.. and it is a good and bad thing. When I was younger, I have my temper and mood. Along the way, through church ministries, cell groups and Christian literature shaped most of me now. God takes all the credit. My best friend and I used to be so fired up for Christ.. along the way, the fire slowly dies as the realistic part of life hits us.  I watched a YouTube clip (again!) by the jubilee project. They asked one question to 50 different people. The question is "what do you regret most in life?" I took a while to ponder on that. I am just 24 this year, and if in these 24 years I have one thing that I regret most in life, how is the rest of the years going to be like?  I do have regrets, maybe plenty of them. But I guess regrets are pai...

Yesterday I viewed a YouTube clip entitled "Women are thinkers" by Russell Peters. Well, I recommend it to you. As funny as he may sound, there is truth in it. We, women think all the time. For example, this morning I woke up thinking if he loves me or he loves me not. Then, a hint of sadness creeps in and needless to say, more thoughts too. Examples again, "I am not that important.. Oh well, if I were, he would have called or texted or whatever IT now brings." *tick* the button of digging all not so nice memories has been activated. Oops, boy you are doomed! And picture the defensive lady prepared for war with her armor. That's the truth, by the way. Now, my other side of the brain is telling me that there are better things to think about.. for example, how beautiful is God's creation, be thankful for a lovely Saturday morning.. And I know God wants to tell me that He loves me no matter what. Come to think about it, thank God, God is God and not like us. ...

as some of you may have heard, iPhone launched a new phone recently. my very cute mum called it s5. I have contributed to apple's sales last week. please don't ask me how long I waited. I was told that I am lucky that it didn't lasted overnight. oh well, perhaps.. but I now think that it was worth it. oh! if you were not up to the date, I am now landed on another greener land literally! I wake up looking at greenery and walk pass trees and flowers every morning. I am now in the lion city. I am entering my third month here (that's almost a quarter of a year!) too many thoughts.. do not know where to start. I shall write more with my new toy in future! Yay!

today marks the first time ever i watched a pair of dogs having intercourse. while i was looking at the dogs, stunned and amazed.. well i know it was a private affair, but i couldn't get my eyes off from what i was looking at. oh by the way, there were no emotions on the dogs' face. i was like, "are they enjoying what they are doing?"...and few thoughts came to my mind: 1) are the dogs making love? why is it called "make love" from the first place? is there "love" involved in this course of action? no. so, the dogs weren't making love. they were merely having sex. 2) how about humans? why is it called "make love"? is love being produced during this action? hmmm.. not too sure. can i conclude that children are made from this action, therefore children are "love"? 3) if my assumption in no. 2 is acceptable, can i say that couples who have intercourse but do not want a child are not making love.. but merely having sex? ...

Usually a month has a maximum of 31 days. This month felt longer than that. The sequence of events and the anxiety of waiting definitely prolong the 31 days. Right now, I'm in a confused stage. After I paid my contract and resigned from my workplace, while i was serving the two months notice, there were events that made me think twice about resigning. I question: is it God that is trying to tell me something? Or... Is it otherwise? I'm less worried about the finances or other factors... But am more troubled about whether i am walking in His ways. I understand God gives us free will.. But Lord, at this moment, can you take away this liberty of having free will and direct me to the paths which You have prepared for me? Just like Jacob who cheated Esau for his father's blessings.. I think I understand the importance of my Father's blessing and am almost that desperate to have His blessings... because it will change one's life. Dear God, please hear me. In my own mi...

Why do people get upset so easily? Why do I get upset? Especially towards people we claim we love. Then it makes me think, actually how much do I love them or vice versa when temper is what we show them most of the time. I don't feel loved when they throw their temper on me... I don't feel that important in their lives anymore. I believe they feel that too. I read one status the other day which goes "Your temper depends entirely on how much time you set aside to grow in God." So I guess I found the answer. Recently, I always have the impulse to leave this place. And turn over a new leaf in a new environment. Maybe I thought if I leave, then probably I will be appreciated more. Sigh, but again, I think that's a very immature way of thinking. It's called running away... I wish I have learnt the skill of verbalizing my feelings, then the other party would know how I feel (which is the best solution of it all). If it continues on like this, I know where it leads -...