a woman after God's heart

I am feeling extremely homesick today. I think of my mom; the things I accompanied her to do, the food she cook for me, the care free days at home, those nights we chit chat in my room. Then I think of Mr. C; walking in the park with him, his face, the conversation we had. I suddenly recalled all the things I forgot to do back at home last week :( Here, I feel mistreated at times. I feel like an unpaid maid many a times. Why should I carry the responsibilities of keeping the house clean? Why should I worry if I do not go home, the clothes will not be kept? Why do I clean the toilet, the fans when others have a share in using them? I do not cook anymore because I do not want to feel like a maid. Sigh, my heart after all is selfish. To obey God's commandment takes more than just my own strength. There was an option for me to shift out or continue to stay. After contemplating the pros and cons, I somehow chose to stay on. But time to time, my heart gets tired and I start to have selfi...

While I was walking, I had a sudden urge to retrieve my old emails from a friend and read them. And so, I was so engrossed in reading them until I almost missed my station. Haha! The emails I read are deeply meaningful and encouraging. I realized I was once blessed with such a special friend who has a very special place in my heart. I also realized when I was younger, life was simpler and trusting God is easy. One of the questions I asked myself while reading those emails is "Have I changed?" Did the world values find their home in my heart? While staying out from home means learning to be independent, it also means to extend grace to others (housemates), to understand the true meaning of loving others. Often, I ask God this question- Where is the line to differentiate loving others and being taken granted of? However, I am blessed to have my roommate especially these few days when I am not feeling well. She cooked porridge and barley water for me, bought me fruits and etc....